my luck.

I’ve finally started getting serious about getting healthy.  It’s not that I haven’t wanted to get serious before, but as you know, life keeps throwing rocks at me.  My plan was to start going to the gym last week, but I had that seizure, and then my eye was so swollen at the end of the week (unrelated to the seizure), I could barely see.  I went to the gym on Monday, I attempted the first day of couch to 5k training, but realized, I need to start off a little slower than that.  I am so out of shape, it’s ridiculous.  Utterly ridiculous.

Day 1:

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I think I’m going to take one of these photos every day I go to the gym.  To hold myself accountable, or something.

Day 2:

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A friend of mine has been trying to talk me into Weight Watchers for a long time, I’ve always been hesitant and made excuses.  For some reason, I was looking up recipes for it last night, and it just clicked.  I’m definitely going to do this.  I’m terrible at making decisions with food.  I am a lover of pizza, cheeseburgers, burritos, cheesecake.  Oh man, the list goes on.  Weight watchers will help me be able to have these things, but show me a better way about it.  So, come March, I will be getting a raise at work, which will basically pay for Weight Watchers.  I’m going to do it.  And I’m really fucking excited about it. 

This morning I was leaving my house, headed to work.  I got probably 3 steps away from my door, and BLAM!   I am on my knees, with my feet 90 degrees to the side.  I really don’t know how to explain it, but I just thinking of people break dancing.  Apparently my body doesn’t know I’m not a dancer, and that my legs don’t move like that.  At least not without an immense amount of pain.  I made it to work, and still walked up the stairs.  I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to go to the gym today though, maybe I can just make it a weights day.  I don’t think that me and the treadmill are going to be able to be friends for a while.  The inner side of my knee is absolutely killing me, while I SIT, let alone walk. 

FML.  Seriously.  Just, FML.  Maybe January was just meant to get all of my bad luck out of the way, and the rest of 2014 will be better.  Fingers crossed. 

Oh, and happy anniversary to me!  4 years with Mr. Tyler today!



As most of you know, I have epilepsy.  I was diagnosed when I was 13 years old.  Over the years, my episodes have gotten worse, more frequent and well, all around less desirable.

I was seizure free for almost 4 years, and I was really excited about that.  I was hoping that I was growing out of it, which some people do.  Unfortunately, that was not the case.  I ended up having 1 in October of 2012, and I’ve had several since then.  Most recently, today.  Luckily I was at work, and one of my co-workers used to be a paramedic, so I’m guessing he knew what to do.

I guess I’m just writing this blog post, to vent.  I don’t expect any sympathy, or answers.  Things are not in my favor.  I don’t have insurance for my medication, and without my medication, here I am.  Having seizures.

I’m being very irresponsible.  I’m still driving, even though I’m not supposed to be.  How else am I supposed to get to work?  I don’t know anyone who l ives close to my office that could drive me, the public transportation sucks here.  I mean, I live approximately 7 miles from my office.  According to the Dart schedule, it would take a little less than 2 hours to get there.  How the hell does that work?

I don’t know, I don’t know what to do.  I’ve started looking into programs that will help pay for the medication, hopefully I find something quick.  I would like to get my episodes under control.  I’m tired of being scared, all the time.  So, wish me luck.  Oh, and if any of you have any suggestions, on how I can get my medication, or even see a neurologist, without insurance, and without costing me a ton of money that I don’t have, I would greatly appreciate it.


So, 17 days into the new year.  I am not doing so hot on the health kick/gym rat thing.  BUT!  Calista has after school things Monday through Thursday, so I decided to bite the bullet.  I really hate going to the gym after work, because there’s usually way too many people.  I like to go around 8pm, when there is not a single soul.  I can run in my sports bra, and not be embarrassed.  It’s an important part of my workout, running free, so to speak.  Whatever though, starting Monday, I will go to the gym right after work.  I will take photos next week to prove it.  Jessica is getting her ass in gear!

I was going to do a weigh in addition to this post, but I weighed myself last night, and well, I have not lost a single pound.  Which is depressing, but my own fault.  So that’s another reason for paragraph one.

Today is a special day though!  Today, is day 100, without soda!

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I seriously, never thought I could get here, it’s kind of confirmation that I CAN do shit, as long as I really want to. So, I’m going to delete this Streak, and starting tomorrow (not today only because I already had it), I am giving up sweets.  I am allowed 1 cheat day (if needed/wanted) per week.  No more cookies, brownies, chocolates.  Niet!  I can do this!

On to my 50 Books in 2014 challenge!  I’m way ahead of schedule!


The books I’ve read since the last post, have been great, for the most part.  I REALLY hated The Ocean at the End of the Lane.  Like, struggled SO hard to finish it.  Just, not my type of book I suppose. I have decided that John Green is the most amazing writer.  Will Grayson Will Grayson, was so cute, and The Fault in Our Stars, I was BAWLING.  Like, uncontrollably.  It was refreshing.  I can/can’t wait for the movie.  The Giver, most people I talked to had read the book in middle school, or high school, so I guess I’m behind on the times.  The read was great, but I am extremely disappointed in the ending!  What the hell?!  What happens next?!  And Gone Girl, I really loved this book.  Even though it did the whole back and forth between times, and journal entries, and even 2 people narrating the book!  So, maybe I don’t dislike those things after all, it just has to be done right.

I’m in love with this challenge.  I never thought that I would be a reader.  I think this challenge, has reminded me how much more fun books are than TV, and I needed that.  At this rate, I’m well on my way to completing my first bucket list item!

until next time,



my relationship with h2o

So, I was a never huge on drinking water. I drank a ton of soda, Mt. Dew, root beer, coca cola. Those were my favorites. In a recent attempt to start getting in shape, soda was the first thing I gave up. Hesitant at first, and failed. My 2nd (or really 4th) go at it, I’m currently at 98 days without soda!

Part 2 of my water challenge is making sure I get my daily intake of 64 oz of water. Some people like to drink from a strong, some use large cups to drink a lot of water. I’ve come to realize that my trick to drinking more water, is drinking from a standard 16.9 oz water bottle. I hate using so many bottles, so when I found this little gem, I was so excited!


Looks like a regular water bottle right? Well, another thing for me is, I can’t drink water that isn’t ice cold. It’s not refreshing, and generally doesn’t taste as good. I used to put bottles in the freezer but more often than not, j would forget about it, and then I would have a completely frozen solid bottle of water.


This Copco water bottle is ingenious. You can unscrew it from the middle, to put ice in the bottle! It’s made of tritan, and is completely durable. I bought mine from, and there are a few different colors available.

Usually at work, I drink about 36 oz of water, and then the rest at home. But with the help of the Copco cup, I drink about 60 oz a day, at work alone. I never would have thought not drinking soda would be so easy!

Not a super fun post, but I want everyone to get one of these water bottles! I want to get more too. I will get more.

I’ll post my book challenge update tomorrow, and maybe a weight loss check in. Maybe.

until next time,


a date. with myself.

You know, I work really hard.  At a job that I hate.  To pay the bills in a crappy apartment that I hate.  Last year, I took a little road trip to reward myself for all my hard work.  And this year, there are no road trips for me, so instead, I treated myself, and took myself on a date!

The first part of my date included sleeping in.  Which was GLORIOUS.  I’m still a little under the weather, so the extra few hours of sleep felt really good.  I fell asleep watching CSI, which I haven’t watched in ages haha

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve started trying to care about what I look like.  Instead of waking up and going wherever I need to go, looking like I haven’t showered in a week.  So, today was my first time wearing mascara and eyeliner.  I bought this weird gel stuff?  Instead of using an eyeliner pencil, it comes with a little brush, and has a little thing you dip the brush into.  Kind of like water color maybe?  It’s hard to describe.  Aaaaaanyway, this is what I look like when I put effort into myself.

photo 4I honestly feel weird, but I did get a lot of compliments, so I guess I should continue to do it.  I really want to learn to make my eyebrows look amazing.  I don’t know why, but they terrify me the most.  Just because when people do their eyebrows, they can look incredibly bad, and eyebrows are REALLY important to me.

So, after I got dressed, I treated myself to brunch at The Egg and I.  I had previously been looking for an amazing brunch spot, and came across this place.  The menu looked great, and the pictures from the Yelp reviews looked amazing.  So, I went, and my server was SO nice, and there was a really cute table of old people playing domino’s.  I just sat there, read my book, and ate my breakfast.  I had a really hard time choosing what to get (their menu is full of super delicious food) but I settled on the Raisin French Toast with 2 eggs over medium and bacon.  MMMM!  It was SO good.  OH!  And the french toast had cinnamon butter.  I just want to eat there EVERY DAY.

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After breakfast, I headed over to Half Price Books, I haven’t been in a long time, since they closed the one in the town I live in.  This location is roughly 30 minutes from where I live, but was only 7 minutes from The Egg and I, so I decided I would take advantage.

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Obviously it was a really beautiful day.  Not.  But, after about an hour of walking around, I ended up grabbing some books for me and Calista.  They didn’t have one of the books I was looking for, but I’ll try to find it online or something.

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I got all these for $20!  The only book I went in for, was the Jonathan Tropper book, the others were on clearance, and didn’t sound too bad.  So, I figured why not.  They were $1 a piece.  Calista likes mystery books, so I got her the first of a series, hopefully she likes them.

Calista and I went on a walk, electronic free!  We walked 2 miles, and while on the walk, we worked on synonyms and 5th grade spelling words!  She got most of the spelling words right, minus a few that are pretty hard.

All in all, it was a great day!  Hopefully this means that the rest of the weekend will be good!

Until next time,


check check.

I have to keep myself in check.  If I don’t, no one else will, and I will fail.

So here we are, January 7th, 2014.  I JUST got my shoes in the mail today, and I’m SO excited.


I’ve been sick since Friday, so as soon as I’m able to breath through my nose, or breath without my chest feeling like it’s on fire, I plan to start my walks again.  Hopefully it warms up because it’s been so cold recently, my water bottles freeze outside.  Like, completely frozen solid.

Since the 29th of December, I’ve had at least 64 oz of water, except for Saturday.  But in my defense, I slept most of the day away.  This bug is seriously killing me.  I have noticed though, since making sure I drink 64 oz of water every day, I feel more thirsty.  Getting to the 64 oz is never an issue.

I’ve been wearing the dang mascara every day, but I honestly don’t feel a difference, or even see one for that matter.  I don’t think it’s enough of a change.  So, I’ve purchased some eyeliner; I’m going to start doing that daily as well.  Hopefully I’ll feel a bit different after that.  There will be a ton of trial and error, since I honestly have no clue what I’m doing when it comes to makeup.  YouTube is going to be my best friend.

And now, to my favorite resolution.  50 Books in 2014.  Seeing as I’ve been sick for 4 days now, this has been the easiest resolution to keep on track with.  Basically, to complete this challenge, you need to completed 1 book every week, as of today, I have completed 2 books, and am well on my way to completing the 3rd book by tomorrow.  I’m super stoked about this.


I’ve come to the conclusion, after reading I Know This Much is True, and What the Dead Know, I am not a fan of books that go back and forth between time frames.  It doesn’t confuse me or anything, just annoys me.  Having to keep up with multiple story lines.  I’m really excited about this though, makes me feel like a better person, all this reading.  I can’t really explain it.  Also, at home, Calista and I read together.  Last week, it was her book for her book report, this week, it’s a book she has to read for another assignment.  But it’s nice.  Bonding time and what not.  Add me on Goodreads!  Suggest books to me, help me complete my resolution as well as one of the items on my bucket list!


I know some of you don’t know me, but the fact is, I am not a feminine woman. I prefer hoodies, jeans, sneakers and NOT wearing makeup.

I turned 30 last year, and have slowly been coming to the realization that people care about what you look like. Whether it be in your personal life, or professional. I read some statistic recently where women who wear makeup either have a 30% higher chance of getting a job, or getting paid more. Something along those lines. Either way, I don’t want my lack of giving a shit to have me passed up for these opportunities. So, as I’ve mentioned before, I chose to start giving a shit. I am starting small, with mascara. Easy enough right? Seeing as I know nothing about makeup, I chose a reputable brand, but didn’t go all out for the $30 tube. Maybelline. Here is to completing goals, and being a better me.

How did I do?