epilepsy.

 

I’ve never been the ‘whoa is me’ kind of person.  I live with the hand I was dealt, and work with it the best I can.  But you know what, after 17 years of living with it, I’m okay with saying, “what the fuck.  why me?”. 

I’m well aware of the fact that my epilepsy isn’t nearly as bad as it could be.  I can go months to years without having one, and the seizures that I have, are quite mild comparatively speaking.  The fact is, having any at all, makes me angry.  I am a hard working person, I take pride in the work that I do, whether it be in the office, or at home.  Having these seizures, completely wipes me out for days.  Physically and mentally, I’m exhausted! 

Anyway, the point of this blog is, I had a seizure last night.   I don’t want to go into details, because it scares me, and I’d rather not relive it.  As of today, I’m at the office, my muscles are super tense, and I’m having difficulty concentrating.  Unfortunately, due to the ice storm we had last week, I had to use the last of my PTO.  So, here I am, tired, and unable to focus. 

I can’t wait until I’m able to see a neurologist again.  The last time I saw one, I was 13 years old, and they told me that my seizures were brought on by lack of sleep and malnutrition.  Last I checked, when I was 13, all I did was eat and sleep.  I would really like to have this under control.  Like I said, I know my epilepsy could be worse, but I would like to be able to have it stable.  Medication that works, or to find a trigger I can avoid.

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